So, You’re Experiencing a Soul-Awakening Desire to Reclaim Your Life
How-to Not Become Spiritually Overwhelmed on Your Newfound Journey
“The soul of a journey is liberty, perfect liberty, to think, feel, do just as one pleases.”
-William Hazlitt, Essayist & Literary Critic
This awakening, something that has your full attention, has taken hold of you and now you know that you have to do something about it. So, where do you start?
I don’t know if you are like me, but once an idea gets into my head, I’ve got to tackle it and I’ve got to do it in that moment.
This meant that when I entered the acceptance phase of knowing I needed to reclaim my life (see below for an example of my thought process during the Cycle of Change) that I wanted to gain awareness surrounding what it is in my life that I needed to take back, pairing that with exploring my current state and identifying how I got there and then testing & implementing new ideas I acquired along the way so that I could ultimately, evolve & change this area of my life that is no longer serving me.
Cycle of Change
Stage 1, Acceptance
I want to change.
(also known as the “I’ve HAD it.” Stage)
“I am exhausted, constantly sick, cannot sleep, burnt out and want to feel healthy and whole again. I want to reclaim & regain pieces of myself that have fallen asleep. To wake up feeling optimistic, energized and excited about the day ahead, about my day ahead. I want things to change.”
Stage 2, Awareness
I have named and identified the circumstances, habits, thought processes and ultimately, the outcomes (pain, anxiety, mental and physical fatigue, etc.) that is brought about as a result of taking part in something that is no longer serving me, and I am aware that it is the source of how I’ve gotten to become stuck in my life.
(also known as the “Oh, crap.” Stage)
“My job I have worked so hard for, is no longer a fit for me. [oh, crap]”
Stage 3, Exploration
I am unearthing the why behind these actions to prevent them from occurring again.
(also known as the “Can I go back in time?!” stage)
“How did I get to this point? [dig deeper] What is the driving force / emotion / ideology that has pushed me to get here?” [Incorporate soul searching, but don’t get “stuck” in this stage for long. You will know what the answers are deep down, address them and then move on to Stage 4.]
“I thought this role, and what it is comprised of, was the best fit for me and where I was in my life at the point of hire, but now, it no longer feels in alignment with what I want for myself long-term. I chose it because it was the next best step in my career and what I should do. After all, I worked hard to get here. I went to college for it, worked up the corporate latter, absorbing learnings as I grew, but somewhere along the way, I didn’t bring my heart along with my head and I lost sight of why I am in the position I am, of what I truly love. I chose benchmarking professional over personal successes and forgot to take inventory of where I am and where I genuinely want to go next.”
Stage 4, Testing & Implementing
I am putting to the test new actions I’ve adopted to meet goals I’ve set for myself, curb and / or break old habits and release pain and blocked energy.
(also known as the “Damn it, this is a LOT of work and effort, but SO worthwhile.” Stage)
“I created a goal to find a fulfilling career that I feel connected to. As a result, I know I have to create action steps in order to achieve it and then put them into motion to help identify and obtain a role that will bring me gratification.”
Stage 5, Change
I have reached my goal. I am experiencing and most importantly, feeling, the shift as an outcome of putting in the dedication, time and work to meet a life-altering objective. This change has allowed me to form new habits, routines and processes along the way.
I am experiencing the fruits of my labor.
(also known as the “This shit actually works! I am ON FIRE!” stage)
“I have landed my dream job. I feel as if a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. My days feel optimistic, motivated and peaceful because I am confident in myself, that I am taking part in a role that is in alignment with who I am and what brings me joy, inside and outside of the workplace.”
Some people get stuck in the acceptance stage, because they don’t want to face the reality of their circumstance. For others, the self-evaluation that the exploration stage can unearth may be painful and biting.
Whatever it is for you, I find that if you identify what stage you are in and see the benefits that the future stages can bring, that it helps leapfrog you from one steppingstone to another, quicker. The Cycle of Change can act as a comforting roadmap, providing you with directions for what is yet to come, so that when you enter a seemingly daunting and dark tunnel, that you know there is light at the other end, waiting for you to bask in its’ glory and that you have a GPS helping you to get there.
The first piece of advice for you regarding personal change and evolution is not to worry about how quickly you are moving from one stage to another. If you have to stay in one stage a little longer because you don’t intuitively feel ready for the next one, then stay in it and discover the reasoning for this. However, don’t use your intuition as an excuse. Ensure to keep the drive going and take action steps to meet the goals you set into place for yourself. Break them up into achievable phases and gain the confidence and momentum in reaching those actions steps and ultimately, the goal you desire to achieve.
It can end up being a beautiful cycle of never-ending change, because once you realize what you are capable of accomplishing, you will want to enhance other facets of your life. I find that a lot of things can shift for the better once you address one overarching thing.
On my own personal development journey, I went absolutely Oprah meets Gwen Stefani b-a-n-a-n-a-s. I dove headfirst into the spiritual fountain of youth, drinking the mindful trend Kool-Aid and took on everything you can imagine that would benefit me in my own cycle of change. I took the exploring, testing and especially, implementing stages VERY seriously. This leads me to my second & third pieces of advice:
2.) When you have formed awareness around what it is that you either want to change or enhance, absorb the books, podcasts, videos, classes, etc. speaking to that subject matter and that get you excited.
I write about this frequently and have promised a blog dedicated to How-to Strengthen your Intuition, but in the interim, anytime you see or hear about something more than once (for me, my angels guide me in sequences of three), I take part in it. This may be a book that you’ve noticed in a store and it caught your eye, then a friend or colleague mentions that same book and lastly, you are watching the morning news and it happens to be featured; that’s your guides hard at work (shouting with joy) for you to get. that. book. They are saying “Get you behind over to Barnes & Noble, Tonya! Buy it on Amazon next day! Do whatever you have to, to read it over the next month and it will benefit you!”.
Not only is it self-explanatory to absorb the literature surrounding your subject in focus, but also, it creates a sense of shared common humanity that other people are going through or working on the same thing you are. That it isn’t so bad when you know you aren’t alone and that you are a witness to someone else succeeding at what you are trying to achieve. In the words of Jay-Z (technically Will Ferrell) “It gets the people going.”
3.) I consider myself Julie from Julie & Julia (if you have not seen this movie, Julie is a new cook, and vows to make all 524 recipes in the culinary legend’s, Julie Child’s, cookbook: “Mastering the Art of French Cooking”, the movie follows her on this journey). I am Julie and my cookbooks are any and all self-help related materials: from the obvious, Oprah, to Brené Brown, Glennon Doyle, Michael Singer, the list ways WAY on. I love to absorb their knowledge and wisdom and test and implement their suggestions in my own way and life. I also have taken on a number of spiritual practices to achieve one of my ongoing personal goals of feeling a sense of calm, presence and peace every day.
Which leads me to my next point: I may have gotten a little too excited to sprint through my own cycle of change. I ended up taking on too much and became a wee bit spiritually overwhelmed.
When I was consulting, I had more freedom in my schedule to start my mornings on a positive note. When I realized this, I started to layer in more and more routines that would make me feel Zen-like for the rest of the day. That I could enjoy a morning cup of tea with Oprah, take deep breaths with the father of meditation, Paramahansa Yogananda, and wash my face for a little while longer with Rachel Hollis. I was spiritually stoked and ready to take on each day and wanted to do it all.
This is what my mornings started to look like:
Wake-up
Make a healthy smoothie that fueled my body & mind
Shoot! I forgot, I drink warm lemon water with ginger before eating anything because it is good for your gut & skin
Quickly drink that because I am hungry, I need to consume that power smoothie
Drink the smoothie before it disintegrates (you know a smoothie is at its’ best when you first make it vs. allowing it to sit there)
Go to sit on my meditation mat
Forgot to take my vitamins; get up to take them
Sit back down and select my meditation
Write down three things I am grateful for (I live a blessed life but sometimes it is hard to think these up and not repeat them each day - OK let’s write “I am grateful for a sunny day”, oh damn it, I wrote that yesterday. OK “I am grateful for this time to meditate” …)
Pray
Pick Angel Cards
Do yoga
Write down guided topics that come to mind during meditation and yoga
Read a chapter of my latest self-help book
Listen to a podcast on that topic
….. 3 hours later, what was supposed to start out as a (singular, “a” or “one”) grounding tool in the morning became ten to twenty because I was overeager and assumed that the more spiritual practices I did, the better my day would be. Well, my day was good, but it was also over, dusk was upon me and I was officially one hundred years old, so yeah, I was wiser too.
This would be incorrect way to go about the implementation stage.
Choose 1 to 3 tools that really speak to you, that give you a slight lift in the chest and make you hopeful, motivated and excited on your cycle of change journey, but be selective.
Also, replace habits that throw your day off…
(scrolling through social media takes the cake for making a good day become an off one when you for example see Darius from the 4th grade complete a marathon you’ve always dreamed of running, now you feel the mixed reactions of being happy for Darius but also sad you have yet to do anything that society deems as aspirational.
Yup, I see you. We’ve all done this.)
…With a podcast that contains “The Top Five Things to Take into Consideration When Finding Your Dream Job” and become one step closer to achieving that meaningful goal you’ve set into place for yourself.
Take each stage, each action, one step at a time and you will find yourself enjoying the journey just as much as the end goal and destination.
Get er’ Done.
“If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”