On Accomplishments: The Most Important Accomplishments in life
Are to Be Happy & Be You
I am going to level with you:
I recently had an epiphany that I didn’t know what it was that I was chasing after.
Then it dawned on me, I have been on the run for so long, that I lost sight of the destination.
I have been sprinting forward so quickly from one accomplishment to another, that I forgot what it was that I was running towards or to be honest, for. As morbid as it sounds, it felt as if I was operating with a timer on my back, and I had to accomplish all that I could before the buzzer went off. That I had to get “there” before my time was up.
Then another moment hit me, where is “there?”
And, how do I know once I got “there?”
Is being “there” what I have been working towards?
Is it my biggest accomplishment in life?
[Let’s start with a foundation in vocabulary.]
“An accomplishment is something notable that you've done. Graduating from college with honors is an accomplishment. First used in the 15th century, the noun accomplishment derives from the Old French word acomplir, meaning "to fulfill, fill up, complete." An accomplishment is something you've completed successfully.” - Vocabulary.com
For you, it may be a coveted promotion (& let’s cut to the chase*, primarily, a pay raise) you’ve been working towards for the past two years.
Maybe it is getting your Master’s in Psychology.
Maybe it is learning another language.
Maybe it is moving to a different city and making new friends.
Accomplishments are a HUGE part of our culture, of our self-worth and of our overall happiness. But what if we did not have to make it so damn addicting, intense and complicated? Why don’t we value [seemingly] small accomplishments just as much as the “big” accomplishments? What if accomplishment seeking is taking over our quality of life? Preventing us from simply being, living in the present and soaking up the blessings that surround us?
{Here is the [Notorious] b.i.g.gie… “If you don’t know, now you know” moment that I had. As if the other revelations weren’t enough.:}
What if, the biggest accomplishment in your life is as simple as “to be happy?” I mean, think about that. Picture yourself in your rocking chair, 90 years old, what if, you got to look back on your life and smile, rocking with the confidence knowing that you gave every day your best, you aspired to hold happiness at the forefront of your mind, and you ensured your goals were in sync with that vision. Doesn’t that feeling give you such comfort? Such peace of mind? A sigh of relief?
What if, we checked in with ourselves, as we create those big goals, visions, eying the next promotion, degree, award, slowed our roll and ask ourselves “Does this make me happy?” & “Does this add to my overarching goal to be the happiest I can be every day?” If we slowed down our sprint to a jog, a gentle walk, and took in our beautiful surroundings instead of them becoming a blur around us, sometimes missing them altogether, maybe we could finally grant ourselves permission to simply be. To recognize with clarity [rather than haste] what it is that truly matters to us. To find value in each day rather than in each accomplishment
What if, all that you are searching for, setting your eyes on, working endlessly to achieve, is actually right in front of you? Right now? In this moment?
It’s you.
It’s always been you.
It always will be you.
That’s right: YOU are the destination. Coming home to YOURSELF. Building a life that makes YOU the happiest EVERY DAY. Ensuring that those beautiful dreams you have set forth to capture are ADDING to your happiness. The bottom line is that your life is not only made up of Saturdays, or your vacation to Anguilla, or your wedding day, or your graduation day, or your promotion, or your business goal, but EVERY day, is vital for you to embrace.
Accomplishments, although powerful for motivation, fulfillment and happiness, are fleeting.
They come and go. And to be honest, MOST people reach their ultimate goal, allow themselves to feel into the moment for just that, a moment, and then look forward and quickly brainstorm on what is next because by God, there is a blank, empty space to be filled; precious time that cannot be wasted, so we have to think bigger, work harder and achieve faster.
We don’t have time to celebrate! We’ve got to sprint forward and throw ourselves into the next big challenge because maybe THAT one may be “the one” that will allow us to {finally} feel fulfilled. Reach our maximum happiness capacity. And lead us to the sacred, sought after destination.
I don’t know about you, but with that mentality, my destination became a moving target.
One day I am “YES! Writing a book is my end game, that’s the one, that is going to grant me the ability to help a greater number of persons at one time.”
[A few days later…]
“OH! Once the book comes out, I will speak on podcasts, maybe I will have a podcast? Yeah, that’s the one! That will help even more people out!”
[which eventually turns into]
“THEN I will go study with the Monks in Thailand and discover the coveted inner peace I have been seeking! There it is. Then, I will finally have reached the destination I have been on the run towards.”
…………
I see you smirking.
But you are smirking because this is how you are ergh… maybe programed too, perhaps? Just a smidge?
This may be hitting you like a sack of potatoes right now, but do not worry, it is having the same effect on me. This is what I am going to suggest that WE do together.
When I was hit with this “aha!” moment, I decided to create a simple hierarchy for us to follow:
If we are a society that is obsessed with accomplishments, then why not make sure your biggest accomplishment is something you can achieve each day? Why not make it about being happy. Living a present life of alignment. Being proud of just that. Putting power behind being happy.
And allow the subsets to be your goals, visions, creations.
If you feel that your next goal is a “Yes! this supports my drive to be the best version of me I can be, to be happy, calm and peace-filled”, then continue onward and upward!
If it is a “no,” then question it.
An intuitive “HELL YES!” is a slight uplift in your chest. I equate it to feeling warmth; a ball of light that ignites and lifts you up.
An intuitive “No” is almost a recoil inward, a downward fall, one that makes you squint your eyes as you become befuddled because you thought you really wanted [XYZ].
A wise coach of mine, Sammie Fleming, recently told me to only follow the “Hell Yes’” in life. That those decisions are in complete alignment with your soul and that as a result, will fill you up as they act as energy givers, not energy takers, since they truly and sincerely get you going.
And let me tell you what, she is damn right.
I have been able to do a LOT more and feel a LOT better by simply checking in with myself, taking pause and asking myself “Is this is a hell yes?” because those favorable experiences fuel me; they are energy GIVERS. They give to my quality of life. They make me HAPPY.
I will leave you with this, a summary of my revelations: Slow. Down. Be in the moment. Prioritize being happy. Make decisions, set goals, that support your authentic self. Don’t allow these goals to take over your life. Instead, ensure they support your overall well-being. Value each moment as much as each accomplishment. And think to yourself how sweet life is, when you simply focus on all that is, all that you have, all that you are, rather than all that you are not.
Be happy & be you, that is all you have to do. It can be that simple, if you allow it to.
“As people spin faster and faster in the pursuit of merely personal happiness, they become exhausted in the futile effort of chasing themselves.”
{Sources: Vocabulary.com on Accomplishments, the great spiritual coach, Sammie Fleming}